Balls Out Wednesday

 

Now I have to start this post with a disclaimer.  Up till now I have endeavored to keep my blog more PG-13 for my mom and people associated with my mom or her morals.  This particular blog post is not meant for my mom or anyone of comparable character or gets too uptight about life, religion or nudity.  This post is for people that have a bit of a sense of humor, who giggle at crude jokes and find anatomy parts humorous.  If you read beyond this point and get offended then it’s your own damn fault.  You have been warned :D

Needless to say no pictures accompany this post….

So I work with some interesting people as you might have figured out.  Tattoos, gun wounds and drug altered minds run amuck among the turbines.  I have ceased to be surprised by prison stories or personalities but today was more than my calm could handle and the incident had me laughing in tears.  My one coworker, I will call him Mr White to protect the not-so-innocent, made the statement that one of his testacies was significantly larger than the other.  During lunch.  I dissuaded visual proof of the statement indefinitely, or at least until we were finished eating. Even though throughout lunch his testicular phenomenon remained the butt of many jokes but luckily remained confined.  Scarily though Mr Orange admitted to coming in semidirect contact with the topic of discussion and of all descriptions described it as “being like a pillow”….

Upon finishing lunch a couple of other coworkers, once again named Mr Pink and Mr Blonde, pulled up where upon they were told about the phenomenon hiding in Mr White’s trousers.  With no reservations and throwing all qualms to the wind coming off Brokeback Mountain they jump out exclaiming that they needed to bear witness to the physical embodiment of Mr. White’s testicular fortitude with all the enthusiasm of a mormon missionary meeting an ignorant heathen. 

Unabashed and unconcerned to exposing his privates to a group of men (wearing hardhats and safety glasses. Proper Protective Equipment corporate calls it… )  Mr. White jumps out of the truck, and with the dexterity that belies such an extremity, hauled out both of this family jewels to the horrified exclamations to all whether we wanted to see or not.   Now I have seen some weird things.  Growing up on a ranch then living in Philly makes it pretty hard to surprise or offend me, but holy shit this thing had a personality of its own.  Imagine a 3-week-old grapefruit contained by a wrinkled paper bag that also harbors a normal walnut and you have a pretty accurate mental image.

How some people find testies attractive I will never understand.  

Mr. Pink and Mr. Blonde both jump back in case it is hostile while Mr Pink invoked His Lord’s Name in possible vain (If Jesus is to come back then it would be fitting if he started out as a single semen cell out of such a nut…) Then to make the situation stranger Mr. Blonde asks if he can touch it…  then escalates it by promptly exposing his own symmetrical smaller scrotum as if comparison was needed… 

Oddly enough the rest of the day passed without event.