Mondays

In the recent past I have notice a wee bit of resentment stemming from me telling stories about my wonderful nomadic unemployed and homeless lifestyle.  Granted I have relished talking about tropical paradises filled with wonderful people from around the world while you my friends have been slaving away in a cubicle or classroom, but today what I have to tell you will make you appreciate your warm safe life.

Yesterday about noon I arrived in Ararat after taking the bus from Warrnambool.  I booked a $70 ticket to Adelaide scheduled to leave at 11:30 that evening so I stashed my pack at the bus depot then headed out to check out the town.  A little while later I would have been found enjoying a local park, reading my book and getting a tan.  Pretty much on par with the wonderful life I had become accustomed to.  About 5 o’clock I packed up and headed back to the bus depot to pick up my pack then I headed to a nearby pokey (casino) where I spent the next 6 hours reading and watching movies on my laptop.  It was as uneventful as you would think it was and I was happy to see the clock hit 10:45.  Packing up again I went out into the cold night and made my way back to the depot, noticing that it was already down to 7 Celsius.  By 11:15 I was checking my watch every 30 sec and by 11:35 I was holding down the glow button and by 11:50 I was taking pictures of it next to the bus sign as evidence.  By midnight I gave up and shouldered the pack and went off in search of a quiet place to sleep.  Heading back towards the park I kept my eyes open for a small spot that would be A: hidden from casual observation B: void of any little nasty bitey things, and C: void of any nasty 2-legged things.  Not finding anything I turned down a road heading for a caravan (camper) park about 5k from the bus depot.  About 2k into the walk I saw a sign advertising another caravan park a measly 1k up this hill towards a big creepy glowing building.  Trusting my luck that so often landed me with wonderful people and beautiful scenery I turned and headed up the hill.  About 2k later I found that the caravan park had been turned into a parking lot for the museum of the criminally insane, that creepy glowy building on the hill.  So I sat there, one in the morn, with an empty lot on my right, creepy museum of the criminally insane that used to be a hospital/jail for the criminally insane on my left, and this huge abandoned building behind me that looked part gymnasium, part green house and all sorts of freaky, wondering where my luck had gone and what was that noise was the off in the grass.

So I turned around and headed back down the hill jumping at the shadows that the moon was throwing from every tree and shrub, picking up the main road again and headed out of town.  A couple clicks later I exited town, crossing what in daylight would be a nice crick with a calm walking path next to a cemetery.  For a seconded I considered pitching my tent between the crick and cemetery but the white marble headstones hazily reflecting the glow of the moon reminded me how my luck was running and I continued on down the road.

A little while later I was walking next to a nice wooded pasture and was thinking about pitching my tent in there for the night when all of a sudden this huge black beast erupted from the very copse of trees I was eyeing for a campsite and thunders through the night right by me while screaming like a little girl.  Why such a ghastly beast would scream like a little girl I don’t know, but it was only that thing and myself out there in the ghostly night and it definitely wasn’t me making that noise.  A this point I had my torch out and blazing away, adrenaline jumping at every sound and shadow my exhausted mind made into a big buggering nasty beast and so I started walking right down the road hoping someone would drive by (hopefully not from the direction of the museum) when I finally came upon a normal caravan park.  I jumped the fence and pitched my tent behind the playground, collapsing into a much-needed sleep right away. 

A little while later I woke up freezing, colder than I have been in years.  I have experienced something close to comfort in my sleeping bag even down to 3 degrees Celsius and here I was shivering away while pulling on and wrapping up with every shred of clothing I had.  Without unzipping the bag I managed to get a second pair of wool socks on then wrap two sweaters and a scarf around my numb feet, pulled two more shirts on then wrapped my last tshirt around my face leaving only a half inch area exposed after I drew the mummy bag shut around me.  Why the tshirt ended up on my face and my scarf around my feet I didn’t even think to question, so cold was the night. 

Even with the added insulation I woke up at 7 to numb feet and wanting nothing but a cup of coffee and a hot shower.  I got out of my tent and went up to the shower and found it and the bathroom locked and no one at the office or responding to the bell.  By this point I really had to piss and was quite pissed at being denied my hot shower so I watered their roses by the office then packed up and headed back into town.  I caught the first bus away from that town and am writing this while sitting in a small cell-like room in an old 1860’s pub turned Chinese buffet/hostel in Ballarat taking my time getting back to Melbourne.  I will still try to get to Adelaide, but definitely not by bus.

And so my friends, life is not all shits and giggles, even for me.  But nights like last give me a bit of perspective.  A friendly smile, good meal, and a long hot shower is an exceptional thing.  A meal of plain rice is made incomparable by the setting in which it is eaten, and a delicious steak is overshadowed by the company it is shared with.  The fact that I have had only one steak this month but eaten over 8 kilos of rice doesn’t make my life any more or less enjoyable.  What makes my life so enjoyable is the fact that this morning exhausted, cold, miserable, and completely wore out I still smiled as I pissed on the roses.