Mondays

In the recent past I have notice a wee bit of resentment stemming from me telling stories about my wonderful nomadic unemployed and homeless lifestyle.  Granted I have relished talking about tropical paradises filled with wonderful people from around the world while you my friends have been slaving away in a cubicle or classroom, but today what I have to tell you will make you appreciate your warm safe life.

Yesterday about noon I arrived in Ararat after taking the bus from Warrnambool.  I booked a $70 ticket to Adelaide scheduled to leave at 11:30 that evening so I stashed my pack at the bus depot then headed out to check out the town.  A little while later I would have been found enjoying a local park, reading my book and getting a tan.  Pretty much on par with the wonderful life I had become accustomed to.  About 5 o’clock I packed up and headed back to the bus depot to pick up my pack then I headed to a nearby pokey (casino) where I spent the next 6 hours reading and watching movies on my laptop.  It was as uneventful as you would think it was and I was happy to see the clock hit 10:45.  Packing up again I went out into the cold night and made my way back to the depot, noticing that it was already down to 7 Celsius.  By 11:15 I was checking my watch every 30 sec and by 11:35 I was holding down the glow button and by 11:50 I was taking pictures of it next to the bus sign as evidence.  By midnight I gave up and shouldered the pack and went off in search of a quiet place to sleep.  Heading back towards the park I kept my eyes open for a small spot that would be A: hidden from casual observation B: void of any little nasty bitey things, and C: void of any nasty 2-legged things.  Not finding anything I turned down a road heading for a caravan (camper) park about 5k from the bus depot.  About 2k into the walk I saw a sign advertising another caravan park a measly 1k up this hill towards a big creepy glowing building.  Trusting my luck that so often landed me with wonderful people and beautiful scenery I turned and headed up the hill.  About 2k later I found that the caravan park had been turned into a parking lot for the museum of the criminally insane, that creepy glowy building on the hill.  So I sat there, one in the morn, with an empty lot on my right, creepy museum of the criminally insane that used to be a hospital/jail for the criminally insane on my left, and this huge abandoned building behind me that looked part gymnasium, part green house and all sorts of freaky, wondering where my luck had gone and what was that noise was the off in the grass.

So I turned around and headed back down the hill jumping at the shadows that the moon was throwing from every tree and shrub, picking up the main road again and headed out of town.  A couple clicks later I exited town, crossing what in daylight would be a nice crick with a calm walking path next to a cemetery.  For a seconded I considered pitching my tent between the crick and cemetery but the white marble headstones hazily reflecting the glow of the moon reminded me how my luck was running and I continued on down the road.

A little while later I was walking next to a nice wooded pasture and was thinking about pitching my tent in there for the night when all of a sudden this huge black beast erupted from the very copse of trees I was eyeing for a campsite and thunders through the night right by me while screaming like a little girl.  Why such a ghastly beast would scream like a little girl I don’t know, but it was only that thing and myself out there in the ghostly night and it definitely wasn’t me making that noise.  A this point I had my torch out and blazing away, adrenaline jumping at every sound and shadow my exhausted mind made into a big buggering nasty beast and so I started walking right down the road hoping someone would drive by (hopefully not from the direction of the museum) when I finally came upon a normal caravan park.  I jumped the fence and pitched my tent behind the playground, collapsing into a much-needed sleep right away. 

A little while later I woke up freezing, colder than I have been in years.  I have experienced something close to comfort in my sleeping bag even down to 3 degrees Celsius and here I was shivering away while pulling on and wrapping up with every shred of clothing I had.  Without unzipping the bag I managed to get a second pair of wool socks on then wrap two sweaters and a scarf around my numb feet, pulled two more shirts on then wrapped my last tshirt around my face leaving only a half inch area exposed after I drew the mummy bag shut around me.  Why the tshirt ended up on my face and my scarf around my feet I didn’t even think to question, so cold was the night. 

Even with the added insulation I woke up at 7 to numb feet and wanting nothing but a cup of coffee and a hot shower.  I got out of my tent and went up to the shower and found it and the bathroom locked and no one at the office or responding to the bell.  By this point I really had to piss and was quite pissed at being denied my hot shower so I watered their roses by the office then packed up and headed back into town.  I caught the first bus away from that town and am writing this while sitting in a small cell-like room in an old 1860’s pub turned Chinese buffet/hostel in Ballarat taking my time getting back to Melbourne.  I will still try to get to Adelaide, but definitely not by bus.

And so my friends, life is not all shits and giggles, even for me.  But nights like last give me a bit of perspective.  A friendly smile, good meal, and a long hot shower is an exceptional thing.  A meal of plain rice is made incomparable by the setting in which it is eaten, and a delicious steak is overshadowed by the company it is shared with.  The fact that I have had only one steak this month but eaten over 8 kilos of rice doesn’t make my life any more or less enjoyable.  What makes my life so enjoyable is the fact that this morning exhausted, cold, miserable, and completely wore out I still smiled as I pissed on the roses.

Bali Ha'i

So I ended up staying a few extra days at Halls Gap, catching the Tuesday bus out of town instead of the Sunday.  Saturday night a spontaneous feed led to a great night.  Barb and Mike of NZ were great conversationalists and drew great political and personal rights discussions from everyone at the table.  Barb works for a nonprofit building PR for cyclists in Auckland and Mike is an engineer and both were great at keeping up to date with world politics and open minded and genuinely interested in hearing personal opinions from the people from the different countries.  Sam and Marion, Sam being from NZ herself and Marion from France, seemed to enjoy the conversations and had some great insights.  Simon loved having someone fluent in french to have a full discussion with and translate some of the phrases we had been trying to work out together.  Another nice lady from Belgium made it a balanced discussion and much food and wine was enjoyed by all.  I had made a bit extra pasta and started a tradition of feeding new friends in exchange of wine or conversation.  It is interesting to see the worlds opinion of US politics and sad to say it is viewed as a fallible and corrupt circus.  The one consistent question I am asked is "What happened to Obama? We had such hope."

The next day everyone but Simon moved on in their travels and we sat out a rainy day playing chess and watching french movies.  I decided the french language can either be beautiful or disgusting without much of a middle ground and completely dependent on the person speaking.  Simon and Marion spoke it beautifully where as other french people I have met spoke it in a gutteral tones more akin to speech used in describing rubbish. The weather cleared off for a quick hike and I started packing up to get ready to catch the bus.  Tuesday morn I went for my last run around Halls Gap, a 7k loop through town then back along a hiking trail.  In a proper sendoff I came within 5ft of a kangaroo and her joey then had some emus race me along the hillside (I won :) )

That evening Don Swanson met me at the station in Warrnambool and drove me back to his home.  Don and Terry Swanson were originally from Illinois then moved to Oz 21 years ago.  They are friends of the Whitesides who I spent a couple days with in Moline Il in my bike trip across the US and absolutely wonderful people.  The after a great dinner and even better stories and discussions that first night Terry gave me a tour of Warrnambool and the surrounding countryside.  The land is good for potatoes so lots of Irish settled the area and that next evening after a delicious meal of grilled kangaroo (truly delicious!) we went to enjoy the sunset at a park outside of town with the kangaroos and koalas.

That Thursday morn Don snuck out of the office and threw a wetsuit at me and grabbed his surfboards.  Now I have spent a lot of time on the ocean but always in a nice big boat with either a beer or fishing pole in my hand (or both) but I have never been surfing or body boarding.  After some quick lessons and tips we floundered through the surf and got out to where some nice waves were washing in.  It took me quite a bit but slowly I learned how to balance my weight on the board to first catch, then ride the wave and eventually even managed to stand up, but only long enough to get a giant smile on my face before I ate it ("it" being quite literally the wave).  It was a glorious morning and the water wasn't near as cold as I thought it would be and was mercifully shark free.  While it is nice to know no one has been eaten in over 50 years I couldn't help but think that statistically it was about time for another...

After a quick lunch and shower Don, Terry and I piled in the car and the wonderful Swanson's took me on a road trip to all their favorite spots along the Great Ocean Road.  Towering columns of sandstone eroded by wind and water standing lonely in the pristine blue ocean gave perspective to one of the most beautiful horizons I have ever seen in my life.

Back in town I went with Don to Lex's Shed.  Lex's Shed is a normal shed that musicians gather at every Thursday night and play Irish music.  A dozen wonderful musicians played flutes, fiddles, hand organs, guitars and banjos for hours on end playing all the traditional Irish music better than I have ever heard in my life.  As a person with absolutely no musical talent it was almost magical to see them play so synchronously letting the music communicate to the group and not speak hardly at all.  It truly was Australia in a day; surfing, touring, great food amazing music and absolutely wonderful people in all parts.

Friday was a pretty quiet day.  I did some banking and picked up a prepaid phone.  The rest of the afternoon was spent trying to find the number it was associated with and get it activated but after many hours I prevailed and now have a Aussie phone.  That evening I went with Don and Terry's son Mike and his partner Ashley and their adorable daughter Eve to Ashley's parents house for supper and was treated to an authentic Australian dinner.  If you want to know what an authentic Australian dinner consists of I would suggest watching the move "The Castle".  You will either love it or hate it but it is the one movie that I am told captures the essence of Australia.

After dinner I went with Mike and Ash back to their home where I had the perfect Friday night: Scotch video games and zombies.  Well needed and greatly appreciated.  People say that a smile is the best way to connect with people of other nationalities but I think that 17yr old 90 proof liquor and exploding zombie heads brings you much much closer :)

Tonight I go out with Mike and Ash again to see what kind of carnage happens in Warrnambool on a Saturday night, then tomorrow I head out on the road again heading towards Adelaide. It has been absolutely wonderful here in Warrnambool at Casa Del Swanson and yet again I am amazed at how many wonderful people I meet in my travels.

This morn over pancakes we got discussing all the little nasties that can seriously hurt you here in Australia.  From the spiders to poisonous octopus to crocs and sharks to snakes it made for a wonderful way to start the day.  Funny thing is that even with all the deadly little nasties down here, more people die each day in bed rather than by all the other horrific animals people fear.  Just a thought for you :)

Kangaroos, Echidnas and Canadians

Tomorrow I leave Halls Gap and the Grampian Mountains to continue wandering along the southern coast of Australia after spending a wonderful two and a half weeks here.  In that short time Halls Gap became a home.  Beautiful walks filled with all sorts of interesting animals and amazing scenery combined with great times with fun people make it sad to leave.  Shortly after posting the last blog I loaded up the pack again and took off for a few days in the mountains.  I found a nice little campsite about 7k out in the bush and pitched my tent in a small clearing where the steep dense forest of the mountain softened out as it met a lush valley and a meandering stream where I could listen to the tropical birds in the trees behind me and watch the emus, deer, and kangaroos graze below me.  Using this as a base camp I went out on some shorter (14k) day hikes but spent a lot of time just sitting in the sun and reading.  It was a wonderful few days that let me enjoy a good book, bit of scotch, and my own company.  Just as I ran out of food (and finished the book) I packed up and headed back into town to Tim’s Place for a few days.  That evening I met Nick from Tassie and then Robin and Lieken who are hairdressers for Megan.  Robin is an older hippie that owns a beauty saloon and Lieken is a young girl from London that somehow ended up working for Robin in a very blusterous love/hate relationship.  Watching the two stylist go at each other then attack poor Nicky with a bowl of bleach was by far more entertaining than any TV show as I quietly hid in the corner and enjoyed the show and delicious food. 

The next day I hitched a ride into a nearby town where I picked up some cheaper groceries and more books and enjoyed a quiet evening at the hostel before the weekend.  I met Sarah, a friend of Megan’s the following day and Megan, Sarah and I started playing rummy 500 which pretty much set the pace of the weekend.  One game extended into a second day of play with such intensity that the other backpackers were in awe of our concentration.  For the next 3 days any free time we could find was dedicated to the game where the girls started the tradition of making me loose horribly.   Saturday the weather was so nice we had to take a break and get out and do something and after a nice hike we ended up meeting some friends of Megan’s at the Barbie in the park (barbie=barbeque).  Here I met Tim, Lexi and a bunch of other friends who work at the local outdoor adventure shop.  They invited us rock climbing the next day, which we readily accepted.  Poor Sarah was so excited that she couldn’t help but to tease Megan about her newly fashioned pink hair (according to Lieken its all the rage back in Londontown…)

In the afternoon on the next day we met Wildman Tim and the crew and headed up to Hollow Mountain.  After a short hike to the rock cliff Tim and his friend, both experienced climbers, threw on backpacks and scampered up the rock face to set up the ropes.  It took some thinking for me to figure out the harness but with a bit of sarcastic advice I got things squared away and got ready to climb.  When looking at the rock it was easy to see where some hand holds would be, but to a guy accustomed to climbing stairs there wasn’t near enough ledges and holds to make me calm.  Despite the apprehension I started up the rock and was absolutely amazed at how tiny of a hold you need when you are holding on for dear life.  A nub not even an inch wide under one foot is easily enough to support the rest of your body as your arms and remaining leg frantically contort and flail around looking for that next little purchase that will keep you on the rock and not falling away.  Rock climbing is definitely a sport where if you don’t think about the fact that you are hanging 70ft off the ground by only one toe and 3 fingers and the next hand hold is 3 inches beyond the tips of your other hand you will be ok.  And since (as most my teachers and ex’s have proved) I tend to just not let pesky logic and thinking interfere with my day I took right to the sport and absolutely loved the physical challenge of taking on the rock.  While others were climbing it was fun just hanging out down below and listen to the friends.  Bonnie was by far the most entertaining as she brought a level of energy to the group I can only compare to giving a 2yr old red bull.  Constantly cheering the climbers on with a aggressively friendly “Ya ya, climb that rock.  Like tiger RAHHHR” then bouncing around in interpretive dances of kangaroos, echidnas, and leaves.  When she tried to interpret branches in dance she just stood rigid and silent for a few seconds and, never one to miss perfect opportunity as such, Tim in a stroke of genius kept getting her to dance like a branch to give himself a few seconds of blissful silence.

After an exhausting afternoon we packed up and headed back to Halls Gap where I invited everyone back to the hostel for supper where I cooked a delicious sausage, zucchini and mushroom pasta and we sat around the table telling more stories.  I am happy to meet them, as Tim became a good friend.  Monday for me was an easy day with a short hike and a few calls home.  Tuesday I went to visit some waterfalls and hike to the Pinnacle where in accordance with Murphy’s Law it started to rain when I got as far as possible from town and then I remembered I left a flap on my tent open.  A quick fun hike down the mountain over slippery rocks got me back to town just in time for it to quit raining and to mop out my tent.  A cup of tea warmed me up and I continued the rummy tradition of getting horribly beaten by Ashley and Stacie, two girls from Canadia land.  Either lots of Americans are trying to pass off as Canadian to avoid the stigma of being a %*#$ing Yank or Canadians are so bored back home that they enjoy world travel more than us #(*&ing Yanks.  As of yet I have yet to stay at a hostel where the Australians outnumbered the Canadians, but they have all been friendly blokes and I have enjoyed myself in their company.   That night everyone chipped in with food or beer and I cooked curry coconut for everyone and we continued playing rummy.  The next day I went on a nice hike back out to the valley where I camped the week before and enjoyed more of the wildlife and even saw an echidna up close.  A cute little animal that brings squeals of joy from girls that made me wish Tim’s branch command trick worked universally but we all survived.  Later that night Robin and Lieken came back out and Robin cooked a delicious risotto and everyone in the hostel sat around a bonfire.  Nina, a 5yr old German girl traveling with her parents was cute as hell keeping the fire going and convincing her parents that she did not need to go to bed yet.  Even though I didn’t understand the words she used her arguments were clear as day and she played her cuteness and the spectators perfectly and got to stay out till 11. 

The next morning a bunch of us woke up at 6 to go see the sunrise from the mountain top, which was well hid by a great bank of clouds that cut visibility down to 40 meters and pretty much negated getting up that early.  But the clouds went away and we visited a huge waterfall then Ashley and I started a daylong hike back to town from the falls.  It turned into a beautiful day and we enjoyed the 20+ kilometers over the mountains.  At one point several kilometers of the trail was at best 10 inches wide with the cliff dropping off below us.  We got back to the hostel very exhausted but glad we put in the long day of hiking. 

After resting and showering several of us grabbed some beer (way over priced!) and headed over to Tim’s house that he shares with his girlfriend Lexi and Bonnie the Branch.  We continued telling stories and ate delicious lamb and drank lots of wine and beer and had an absolutely smashing evening.  With the mountains and wonderful people like Tim, Lexi, Megan and Bonnie residing here, Halls Gap became one of my favorite places in the world and I am glad to call it home even for a short time.  Tim taught Lexi the branch dance and many laughs were had when he tried it on Bonnie and Lexi at the same time.  The branch dance is definitely an Australian tradition that I need to get started back stateside…

Friday was a cold rainy day and Megan, Ashley and Stacie took off for Melbourne leaving me bored and lonely and I huddled inside watching movies and drinking tea.  Simon from France was the only backpacker with me at the hostel and we hung out and had as much of a conversation as we could.  Simon is a very nice guy spending a bit of time in Australia waiting for a visa to come through for India.  He visited India and fell in love with a beautiful girl and they are working out a way to be together, and listening to him tell the story in his broken English with French accent made every girl in the hostel fall for him foolishly.  A nice guy and I hope things work out for him and his love. 

Like I stated before I will miss Halls Gap and will plan on coming back in my travels.  Beautiful mountains with great people in town make it a wonderful peaceful home.  Tim’s Place is by far the best hostel and I am sad to be disappointed by every other one I stay in from now on.  It is an Eco-hostel utilizing half flush toilets, solar panels and rainwater entrapments and treatment for water.  On a sunny day with enough recent rain it only costs $2 dollars to operate the whole hostel that can sleep 20 people.  On a bad day it still only costs $8.  It is truly an amazing example of how a well-designed building can reduce its impact.  Its one thing to recycle and turn off light switches but Australians have truly learned how to drastically decrease their environmental footprint and make their daily existence not cost the environment near as much as the normal American family.  Needless to say the branch dance is not the only useful trick I plan on bringing back to the states.

Landed

So I survived the 14 hour flight from San Fran, even with the unluckiest of seat selections.  I did have the luck to sit next to a fellow avid trout fisherman from Tasmania and a sweet old lady who were pleasant travel companions.   After over a year of talking I finally got to hear my first honest “G-day mate”.  Surviving the grueling flight across the Pacific I landed in Melbourne and caught a bus to my hostel in the St Kilda suburb.  I picked this hostel because they advertised free pancakes and bikes, which unfortunately was the logic of many drunken Irish and German kids.  I soon learned that I had picked a party hostel that was a favorite among the impish offspring of European well to do families.  Despite the bad first impression I met some cool people and later went out for a pint with Tom, the only Australian staying at the hostel.  In drinking with Tom I learned a bit more of the lingo and we had fun making fun of each other’s speech habits and became mates over the next week.  Sadly I discovered that Aussie doesn’t have refined brewing techniques we have back stateside and the beer is quite bitter and requires a bit of practice before it becomes enjoyable.  St Kilda is the Oceanside suburb of Melbourne and I had a nice 10-acre park outside the hostel and was only 5 blocks from the beach itself.  An older town, it reminded me a bit of New Jersey or Coney Island as it’s heyday has long passed but is slowly returning.  Melbourne itself is the most beautiful city I have visited.  Old Victorian buildings reflect off the shiny twisted surfaces of modern architecture showcasing both where the city has come from and where it is going.  Open flowing parks and lush botanical gardens lead into the city center from St Kilda making Melbourne one of the few cities where it is possible to catch a relaxing breath of fresh air on your walk around.  That combined with the friendliest folk imaginable made Melbourne my favorite city.  Imagine finding the unconditional and sincere welcome of a small midwestern town coming from the citizens of a large city and you have the people of Melbourne.

It just happened that St Kilda’s rugby team was in the finals and I was in town for the footie game.  Imagine landing in Philadelphia during the playoffs when the Phillies are playing the last game and not realize it until you see the drunken fans hanging from the streetlights.  At 6pm some of the Irish kids where yelling “chug chug chug” encouraging each other to reach a grander level of inebriated idiocracy even that early in the night, while drunken German kids (age 19-22) dryhumped the leg anything that didn’t run away fast enough (later that night one particular kid was getting along quite well with a vending machine..)  Luckily Tom and I ran into some other quasicivilized kids and 8 of us escaped the leghumpers and took some beer and wine down to the beach and passed the evening telling stories and learning a bit of French.  In the wee hours of the morning we made our way back to the hostel through the destruction caused by celebration and I climbed into the bunk in a room I shared with 5 others for a bit of sleep before the next day.

Surviving the footie celebrations (it ended with a tie) I joined 3 Americans, 3 Canadians, and one Aussie for a road trip down the Great Ocean Road.  We split into two cars and I was stuck with the Americans.  David was the other driver in my car, a young trustfund kid from LA who still seemed a bit surprised by puberty.   I am not sure if he was ADD or OCD or just a @*#$ing twit but after 13 hours in the car with him I hating yanks as much as anyone.  The two American girls at least were not annoying, but didn’t have enough personality between them to make any conversation interesting.  Sadly the other car was a riot, Adam the Canadian is a great guy who loves the outdoors as much as I do and the other two Canadian girls and Aussie chick had a great time laughing and joking and telling stories while I was stuck with the Twit telling me to please drive 3kph slower than the speed limit.  Despite the company in the car I enjoyed the drive, the southern coast is amazingly beautiful with many different types of ecosystems right next to each other.  I walked through rainforests then an hour later through cattle pastures with koala’s chilling in the trees above.  At Port Campbell I saw the 12 Apostles, which is one of Australia’s most famous rock formations and I was amazed at how beautiful it was.  That and driving on the wrong side of the road in the wrong side of the car is kind of like a bad video game gone all sorts of wrong. 

Coming back to St Kilda I lined out the last of the things I needed to do in the city and made plans to escape to the mountains.  I found a Moroccan café called Shibah that had free wifi and enjoyed Turkish coffee and the chance to skype home.   I ate there with my German friend (not one of the leghumpers) and had one of the most delicious meals of my life.  Then the week after I landed in Melbourne I jumped the train heading west then took a bus a bit farther west, then another bus to Halls Gap, VIC.  Halls Gap sits in the Grampian Mountains and is a nice little town where cockatoos and parrots fly everywhere and roos hop down Main Street at night.  I stayed two nights at Tim’s Place, which is what a hostel should be.  Pudding the cocker spaniel greeted me as I walked up and the rooms were clean and everyone nice and no ones leg was in danger of getting humped as even Pudding had better manners than the kids back in Melbourne.

I took off on a few small hikes into the mountains, which are quite literally behind the hostel.  Paths flow over rocks and around trees leading me to beautiful waterfalls and ridgelines where all of Australia opens up beneath me.  After getting to know the area a bit I took off on a two-day hike around the valley and back up over one mountain range.  As with the bike ride it took a bit to get used to the pack but it was well worth it to be alone in the mountains again.  Having curious stag-like deer follow me for a couple clicks through grassy meadows to watching brilliantly white flights of cockatoos wing beneath me as I stand on the mountain peak was amazing.  That night I pitched my tent next to the path in a flat spot.  I had to hike 3k round trip to get water from that camp but level spaces were hard to come by.  Even though it was warm during the day it dropped down to 4 Celsius during the night and I was huddled in my sleeping bag by 8pm.  That first night shadow camping in the bush I learned that kangaroos sound frightening similar to zombies in horror films as they quietly set their front paws down with just a little bit of noise then drag their larger hind paws through the underbrush much like a zombie would drag a foot…  That combined with their warning cough/moan when they smelled my camp made for a bit of a restless evening but they soon went away and I drifted off to sleep.

I came back down to Tim’s Place and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon and a much needed shower.  Later that night I drank scotch and wine around a bonfire with Dominic, Tim’s brother, and Megan, Tim’s niece, who is watching the place while Tim is setting up his second hostel over in France.  Dominic is quite an adventurer himself and we passed the hours telling stories back and forth and being jealous of each other’s experiences.  If I ever make it back to Melbourne Dominic invited me to stay at his place and if I time it right in the summer we will go camping in the sand dunes down by the coast.  As bright and shiny as Melbourne is, this is the Australia I had hoped to find and look forward to spending another week here walking the mountains before I wander on.